Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
