I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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