I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
