Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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