my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
