She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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