And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
