he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
