You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
