He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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