I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize