I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
