Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
