I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
