his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You smell like stripper and shame
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
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The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
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I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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