i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
