I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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