if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I've blown a few things in my day
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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