fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
