Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
