It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
