His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
