There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
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