now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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