Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
