god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
