I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
