Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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