Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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