Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
