Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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