I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
