Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
