Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
