So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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