Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
look no pants
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
