"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
