you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
