dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
