can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
