i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
