There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
