The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
