She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
NoShamevember. You game?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
