BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
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we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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