porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
