i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
