we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
