im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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