How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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