cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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