How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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