I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize