Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
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My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
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I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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