I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
