He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Shame - the story of my life.
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