@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i believe in u and ur pee
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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