Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
