You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
